"Fine, I'll bring the F&G!"

This is the bag I made my mother for Christmas. It probably needs a little explaining. I am a little embarassed to say I just finished it last weekend, but it just meant we got to have another Christmas in January!

My mother plays the bells in church. You're probably thinking of those huge bells towers now, with the rope hanging down the entire length of the spire with monks clinging on for dear life at the end as they are swung higher and lower while the bells ring, brown burlap cassocks flying, sandals flopping about.... No. Not those kind of bells. Hand bells. These kind. You'll notice that the players usually play only two bells, representing different notes. When my mother first started playing them a few years ago, I asked her which notes she played.

Mother:"I play G! And I also play F."

Me: "Oh, that's nice. Wait, what?!

Mother: "F. And G."

Me: "Really? F and G? You really play f'n gee?"

Mother: "Yes, what's so.... oh hahahahah, oh dear, yes, I guess I play f'n gee"

Now every time my mother says she's playing bells at church, I ask her about her f'n gee, and it continues to crack me up. Every. Single. Time.

So when I was thinking of things to make for Christmas, I was trying to think of something witty and bell-related for her. I decided on making her a bag - mostly to carry her bells in, but it could also be used for anything, like books or her knitting. I put heavier interfacing inside to make sure it stood up well and had a shape of its own, even when it is empty.

I asked around to a few friends for help on the saying I was going to put on the bag. I got lots of witty responses, but the best one was a bit complicated to do as it involved drawing bells. I'm new to blockprinting, and was doing the printing when I was out of town and wasn't prepared to start carving out bells in a lino block just for this project. So I stuck to letters without a picture.

The bag is made of linen - natural and burgundy, and lined in baby blue on the inside. I added the grommets pretty easily (after buying a bunch of grommets and then coming home to find that I already owned several packs of them for some reason). The handles are 1/4" cording covered in a linen sleeve, with knots in the end so they don't come through the grommets.

I think the final saying is pretty funny - it sounds like she's fed up and irritated enough to swear, like there was an argument that happened where the ringers couldn't decide who would bring what (kind of like an unorganized potluck lunch at work). It sounds like she's swearing, but it's also tame enough that she feels ok bringing the bag into church. I hope her church friends think it's funny and they start swearing at each other over biscuits and coffee after the next service.

* Lovely wool wall hanging in the first picture from the talented woodroots on Etsy