I've mentioned before that I live life gluten- and dairy-free. I was only diagnosed about 2 years ago, which means I spent most of my life uncomfortable. I won't go into the specifics of the symptoms, but for those of you who know, it's not pleasant. Dairy lets me know it's there by waking me up at 4 in the morning totally sweating and having a histamine reaction. It makes me over-produce phlegm and make me feel like I'm getting a cold. I'm pretty sure it's the reason for the bad skin, too. Gluten, on the other hand, is more centralized in my gut. So all your basic GI symptoms apply. My dairy allergy is to casein, which is the protein in all animal-based dairy (cows, goats, etc). Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley, rye, and malt.

I'm not sure when I became allergic to these two things, or if I was always allergic and just didn't know. I do have a suspicion that the gluten allergy came later in life - ie around 30. How do I know? In university, I used to be able to drink anyone under the table in beer. Later on, just having one beer would make me only capable of barfing anyone under the table. My stomach used to hurt a lot and I could never figure it out.

A couple of years ago I went to a naturopath as I was tired of being tired and sick, and sick of being sick and tired. 2 months later I cut them both out. I've felt a lot better since then, and life has been grand!

Except that I no longer have dairy or gluten in my life. This makes me very sad.

I wasn't a huge dairy eater (hadn't had a glass of milk since I was about 12 and not a huge cheese eater). However, when you can no longer have a cheeseburger, or a plate of nachos with cheese, or butter on your mashed potatoes, or milk in your coffee, or yogurt in the morning, it kinda sucks sometimes. Especially the melty cheese parts - have you ever seen the mess that is vegan/soy/rice/non-casein cheese? Made with yeast? and flour? and god knows what else? Believe me, I've tried them all. There is no replicating the ooey gooey goodness of melted cheese.

Gluten. Aah. Gluten. We used to be friends. But now you want to be frenemies. Not good, gluten, not good. Remember the joy of eating a warm French baquette? Of a flaky croissant? Of crumpets? Of anything wrapped in philo pastry? I do.

I used to consider myself a decent baker. Not the best, but certainly not the worst. My mother used to make all her bread by hand when we were growing up, and I learned from her. You could take out all your daily frustrations just kneeding that lovely stretchy dough! So when I cut out gluten, I bought every cook book I could find on baking gluten-free and tried tons of recipes. I've now tried a gazillion recipes in the past two years, and I've had only about two, well, maybe even just the one success. It is freaking hard people! Gluten is what gives bread it's elasticity - the stretchiness, the airiness, the bubbles, the fluffiness - all gluten. I use 42 different flours now - white rice, brown rice, potato, arrowroot, chick pea, buckwheat, soy, tapioca, the list is endless. You usually have to mix several flours together to get a decent consistency. Then you add the xanthan gum or the guar gum, both of which sound as though they were invented by Klingons. This is supposed to replicate gluten. IT DOESN'T. Nothing does.

So, after another failure in gf breadmaking last week, I got so frustrated I wrote "I HATE YOU, GF BREAD" on my little blackboard by our door. I forgot about it until a friend of my husband's came over. He took one look at it and said, "Oh, who's celiac?" He was diagnosed years ago and makes his own bread and dough for all sorts of things like muffins. He uses a breadmachine with a gluten-free setting! Apprarently one of the KitchenAid machines makes GF bread really well. He's going to send me his bread recipe, too.

Listening to him was like having the skies open and the angels heralding and the butterflies of the world alighting on beautiful flowers everywhere.

I haven't bought the machine yet - we are going on vacation soon for about three weeks, but I'm going to get it when I get back and try it out. Look for further adventures in breadmaking!!